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You know you have a large family when...

  • ...you have to carry three health insurance cards in your wallet- because that's how many it takes to fit everyone's name.
  • ...you take the wrong child to the dentist...simply because your handwriting on the calendar was messy and both started with a "j".
  • ...grocery shopping for 30 children and 12 adults for a two day camp constitutes a "small" shopping trip for you.
  • You find yourself relating some small incident to your husband and starting with the words, "Well, I only boiled twenty-six eggs for breakfast..."
  • ...you buy a 40 pound box of bananas intending to make banana bread and freeze a bunch for smoothies...but your children eat them all first.
  • ...you find an afternoon root canal relaxing.
  • ...it takes you twenty-three minutes on the phone to schedule your children's dental appointments.
  • ...you've given up on using your toaster entirely and make all of your toast under the broiler in you oven.
  • ...you are seriously tempted by the stacking cribs you see at Goodwill for $19.99.
  • ...you find yourself thinking, "Wow, the house is so quiet and peaceful with only nine children".
  • ...you have enough children to constitute not one, but TWO large families.
  • ...you have a laundry basket devoted entirely to lonely socks seeking their mate.
  • ...when you got to buy your children those cool "spin toothbrushes" because you think they get their teeth so much cleaner...but the store doesn't carry enough styles/colors for your children to each have a different toothbrush.
  • ...when you can't take all of your children to the doctor's office at the same time because the waiting room has only 10 seats.
  • ...when you still have seven children that are required by law to sit in a carseat or booster seat.
  • ...you call the doctor to get your children tetnus shots, and they tell you they don't have enough in the office and need to order more from the health department.
  • ...you take up more than one entire pew in church.
  • ...you take only half of your children to the library, and STILL get asked if they're all yours.
  • ...you go to fill your children's flouride prescription at the phamacy and you clean them out of every pill they have...and it's still not enough.
  • ...you spend sixty dollars on socks...and not everyone gets new socks.
  • ...you go shopping at Costco and the cashier asks if you're having a soccer barbecue.

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July 04, 2009

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Comments

Cool Canadian aka TARA

"Is it just me, or are there worse things in this world than being locked in a room with me?" too funny! Great post today. On our way to a day trip to visit my Mom and Step Dad at their camp site with their new travel trailer.

anya

Well, I have yet to meet you, so I can't really verify if there are worse things then being in a room with you. But hilarious story nonetheless.

Jessica

I'm sure jumping out a window is worse than your company, though some of the drama was taken out when you said it led to your deck. It's funny(in hindsight) how freaked kids get about random stuff. My son(3) can't stand being in a different room than his blanket. He can go in the car without it, but if he forgets it in his bedroom while going to the living room he runs screaming and crying back to it when he realizes. ???You can leave it at home but not on your bed?

Bridget

Wow! That is something! You should have gone out the window together just for the adventure!
Happy 4th from Silverdale...
Bridget

kate

That's a strange and very funny story...and you may be right because that never happened at my house!

Dawn

What a great story! I have one that can't stand to be shut into small spaces. Elevators are stressful places to be. He turns into a little wild man in small spaces with a closed door and if you open the door he sits right down. I have no idea what that is about. Anyhoo, I am sure it was not your company that made her want to jump.
Blessings,
Dawn

Jo Abair

My daughter went around shutting and locking the doors for yrs, while NO ONE Was in the room. I became an expert lock picker, which was good bc one day she locked the BABY that I was keeping LOOSE in a bedroom with small toys and books that she wasnt even allowed in! While I felt like a horrible babysitter for not noticing the newly walking baby heading down the hall with my deviant 4 yr old, I used my good lock picking skills I picked up during her locking year. Only one book was partially eaten.
Your story is funnier, and slightly scarrier in Avi's mind I am sure... But oddly enough this sounded like a story that COULD happen in my house due to my daughters enjoyment of locks.

Mary

Yes, that has happened in my house too! :0)
LOL

Stacy

Okay, this had me literally laughing, Renee. The whole Avi-is-terrified-and-screaming part. Because, like you, I would be like: "Um, is it really so bad to be in a room with mama for awhile?!" Hilarious.

Kate Alva

Sweet Avi! Never a dull moment in your house!

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