A Baker's Dozen: Daily Life in a Large Family

In Fairness to My Children...

Beautiful Avi, six years old

I shall share a time when I, too, said exactly the wrong thing...

I was seventeen years old, on my very first Teen Missions International team, in Tanzania, East Africa. We had two Tanzanian translators who came along with us on our presentations. One of the things we would do was make balloon animals for the children (though this was always just as big of a hit for the adults!) One of the coolest animals was "Jonah in the Whale". A balloon whale would be make and through twisting and pinching (after much practice) a small section of the balloon would actually come loose and move freely inside of the bigger structure. 

One afternoon, Augustino, one of our translators was practicing. He made a giraffe and then managed to get a little piece of ballon loose inside of that. He was showing it around and someone said, "look, the giraffe is pregnant" to which I responded, loudly and with great gusto, "Augustino's great...he can make anything pregnant!"

Umm, let's just say in that culture, in that place, it was awkward to say the least....

And lest you think I've matured into a sophisticated adult in all the intervening years, go read this.

Have a great Saturday...and keep your foot out of your mouth :)

The Coffee Shop

Tucker age 4 

There's this coffee shop in town that I've only been to once before. Usually when Hilary, Diane and I go out for Grump Therapy its at Starbucks. Starbucks is good. Their products are consistent. They have nice comfy chairs. They don't mind how long we sit and sip. We like Starbucks. 

The thing is by the time we met for coffee on Thursday night (I had to stop for gas and a trip to Fred Meyer first) our Starbucks was already closed. Apparently they're remodeling it and closing at 8 PM every night for a while.

So we had to go to this other coffee shop. I wasn't particularly thrilled about heading to this other shop because the only other time I've ever been there I wasn't happy with the experience. I was pregnant with Apollo and feeling sick. I was nauseous and looking for something that might settle my stomach.  After looking at the menu (which in and of itself bothered me- no prices of any non-drink items. I hate that. If I'm buying a sandwich, muffin or bagel, I want to know how much it costs) I settled on a banana smoothie. The lady made my drink and I went and sat down. I was shocked when I took my first sip...this wasn't a smoothie, it was an ice based drink with banana syrup in it! An okay drink perhaps, but most definitely not a smoothie. Does a smoothie not, by definition, have dairy products in it? And seriously, who makes a smoothie with banana syrup instead of an actual banana? 

I brought the incident up to Diane and Hilary as we were heading of to the coffee shop. I was really just joking because it was a one time incident and hey, I learned my lesson: don't order a smoothie there.

So this night I decided to get a bagel. There were three in the display case and I was hungry. When I went up to order the lady said, "I'm sorry, we're out of bagels". I involuntarily glanced over at the display case. Okay...I guess those bagels were for display only. So I asked, "what do you have?" She gave me a disgusted look like I was causing trouble..."We  have everything...just not bagels".

It seemed like a reasonable question to me. I mean, I saw bagels, ordered on and was told they were out. Why should I just assume everything else in the case was available? 

So I ordered a poppy seed muffin...which she pulled out of the case and put on plate for me. 

"Can I get a cup of brewed de-caf?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, we don't serve de-caf at this time of night" she  answered.

Apparently this coffee shop only serves de-caf in the mornings... 

After a moment she offered to make a de-caf Americano and I accepted (glancing around for the hidden cameras I was sure must be there). 

As she was making my drink I looked over and saw Hilary across the room barely able to contain her laughter. Obviously me and this coffee shop just don't get along.

I don't know what to say. I've been to this coffee shop twice now. And both were bad experiences...

Don't worry Starbucks, I'll be back. Just as soon as your remodel is finished.

Waiting Room Blues

The following photos of completely unrelated to the text...

Two weeks ago, I headed in for an ultrasound to rule out any problems related to Opus's constant flipping in my womb. I took Adalia and Keziah along. As we sat in the waiting room, I saw a magazine- Time or Newsweek or something like that. It had an article on the history of the birth control pill. 

"Interesting" I thought. My mom had a stroke from taking birth control pills, back when she was a newlywed. Therefore I've always had a fascination...and fear of the pill. So I picked up the magazine to read.

 

I flipped through the magazine and found the article...Rather than hold the magazine open, I had it turned sort of inside out- you know, so one side was facing me, the other facing everyone else in the waiting room. I've always loved photos, so I spent a minute or two studying an old photo of a couple with their thirteen sons. The photo was from back in the thirties I think. Then I began to read the article. Did you know the birth control pill was created by a doctor who was actually trying to find a way to increase fertility? Neither did I.

So I finished page one of the article, and turned the magazine over to read the next page. A page I hadn't previously looked at. 

And...how shall I put this? The facing page of the article I was reading...the page that was facing everyone else in the waiting room. The page I hadn't bothered to look at yet...had a full page photo of two hippies...lying in a field of flowers...the man lying down-legs spread, while the woman (topless) was lying on top of him in a rather amorous mood. They were fully, ahem, occupied with one another. 

As I glanced at the photo in horror, I could only imagine what the other patients in the waiting room thought I was sitting there reading.... 

Lesson learned? Some magazines are best read in private.

 

Enough Already

Mordecai, age seven 

Warning the following is a little rant...followed by some fun, happy stuff, so it isn't all negative.

Dear Sirs,

If you want to advertise on my blog, please contact me. Don't leave ridiculous comments like this one:

    I love blog, because any person can blog in their own feelings and to 

  share things with. But i suppose the blog could only be improved if 

  you posted more often.

Followed by your company name and a link over to your company. I get these crazy spam comments (which always link to company websites) several times a week. For my regular blog readers, be forewarned, if you leave your name as: Health Insurance, Buy Diapers Online, etc, I will automatically assume these are spam. These are not email addresses (which often have clever or business related names) but left as the commenter's name...and often times the comments make little or no sense.

*sigh*

On to cheerier things. Tilly stole my thunder yesterday by blogging about the very topic I planned to write about. Her blog title was "School for Fun?" and she wrote about the fun she, Judah and Adalia had writing paragraphs with their new vocabulary words...Go check out her blog entry on it. 

The funny thing is, the three of them got together and decided to read them aloud to me so I could pick the "best" one. They were quite shocked and disappointed when I knew who wrote each one. I explained it was easy...One was about war, one was about Ben Carson and one was a letter...obviously neither girl would choose to write about war, and Tilly's been playing Ben Carson since we watched the movie. And Adalia's...well, it was written in her style.

Try number  two, they decided fool me by writing about the same topic...the Beatles. Well, one of those focused on John and Yoko (obviously Adalia's), one talked about how great Paul was (thanks Tilly) and the other was clever and charming...but lacked passion (Judah, who couldn't care less about the Beatles). 

Oh the magic of being a mother, and just knowing things...

     

Still Not Dead...

...or back on line.

After spending 15 minutes on hold yesterday to follow up on the call Chuck made Friday complaining about our lack of internet, I was told they had no record of Chuck's call!

Then the man tried to convice me the internet really was working, I  just didn't know it. As in:

"Are you sure it's not working? Did you check the modem? Are any lights on?"

After informing him that Chuck could see where the line was severed up by the road, the man still insisted that I unplug the modem and try to restart it- just in case.

I finally convinced him we had no service and he scheduled to sent someone out to fix it...November 30!!! As in a full week from now, and nearly two weeks since we've been out of service.

Someday I'll be back.

I promise.

Dollar Wi$e Animal Clinic

Kalina, age 8 

My daughters have suddenly decided they are models, and I'm taking full advantage of it. I'll be posting more photos of them on my Little Earthling website in the next day or two.

I took our male cat, Kenji, to the vet to be neutered yesterday {insert cute picture here- sorry, not really into pet photos, too many gorgeous children around for that}

Kenji is 4 1/2 months old and was beginning to get a bit aggressive, so I knew it was time. One of my children found a coupon in our local paper to get a cat neutered for $20. Well, that was just in my price range, so I called and made the appointment.

The name of this place is Dollar Wi$e Animal Clinic. Really. Now, normally a name like this would turn me off. I don't like "Discount Dental" or "Save-and-Shop"...what I consider tacky names. But like I said, for twenty bucks, I'll ignore a goofy name.

So in I walked with my five little ones, Kenji in a kennel and Enoch to help me herd everyone. My first impression? Wow, this place is bare bones. Not soft cushy chairs, not beautiful artwork on the walls. Clean, but bare. As for service? They were friendly and cheerful.  They didn't look as though they thought my children were going to wreak havoc on their place at any moment. We got smiles...and the best part? No pressure to give Kenji 34 vaccines so he doesn't die of some wretched kitty disease ( and no offense to those of you who choose those options. In our home, cats are mousers first and pets second). 

When I picked Kenji up, I had my five little ones and Tilly to help. Once again my children (not just me) were greeted with smiles. I paid, and the receptionist said, "Would you like to come back and see Kenji?" and she walked us right back to the large room where they  house the animals and operate. My children got to look around. The vet was friendly, clearly not minding a bit the six children in his OR.

As soon as we got in the van, Tilly asked, "Mom, do you like this place better than {insert name of pet hospital} ?"

Well, yes, how about you?

"Yeah. They were friendly and didn't just tell us 'we have a situation in the back"

Earlier this summer, we needed a vet for one of our cats. I took Yoko to a well-know "animal hospital" and they cared for her thoroughly and diligently. The problem? Every time I (or they) called I felt very real pressure to give her this shot, or that shot. Two times in a row, I was told there was "a situation in the back" and I couldn't speak to the vet. One of those times, I had just Adalia with me, and they took Yoko, and said, "is there somewhere you can go for 15 to 30 minutes?" instead of allowing us to wait in the waiting room. I mean, when you take a pet in for care, you expect to wait a bit, no? 

A few years back, Chuck and I got two lab puppies, and took them to a different vet out near us for shots and deworming, all the normal puppy stuff. At the time we lived in a different house on five acres. We had a huge fenced yard, and when we left the fence, acres and acres of land for pups. It was doggy paradise. I took the puppies in for the regular vaccine schedule, and every time as they checked for fleas (which they never had) I was admonished that the dogs were "really dusty"...and I should keep them in the house, after all, dogs are social creatures and should be kept in a pack. Can you venture a guess where our dogs were happier? Outside where they could run and explore to their hearts content? Or in the house where they had to mind their manners, stay off of furniture and not run?

Now I realize that some people want their pets treated as people. And that's fine, there is a niche for that. Like the big name animal hospital. But for us, I've found the right place, and what do you know? It has a tacky name.

Could Somebody Please Tell Me....

How it is that I can't find one pair of scissors in the house, but Tucker and Avi both can find scissors and give themselves haircuts?!

Cause I'd really love to know...

(No picture of Avi's newest haircut...because of her curls they really don't show up in a photo....unfortunately it does limit me when trying to braid or pull it back...)

Canon Customer Service

Wool felted cat created by Adalia

Amazing...remember Wednesday's blog post about Canon? About how the woman just got my information the day before and needed time to review it (and that's the same line she gave me the week before)?

Well yesterday morning, barely 24 hours after my blog post, she called back to tell me that her engineers confirmed that this last bit of "damage" as done by the lens being bumped up against something, but since the situation "had gone on so long" and "because of the prior repairs" she decided to replace the lens.

No, I will not go into the fact that the lens has not been smashed into anything, nor will I go into the improbablility that the auto-focus malfunctioned  four times for no apparent reason, but this last time malfunctioned due to me banging it around.

So I asked the two key questions: is the lens refurbished? and does it come with a warranty?

Yes, it is refurbished and it is coming with a six month warranty. 

*sigh* 

Not exactly resolved to my satisfaction, but better than I thought it would be on Monday.

Chuck and I had already decided (whether I keep or sell the camera) to purchase the 50mm 1.8 lens to get me by, and now as a back up to take on shoots.

And my photographer friend, Emily, said that's why I should purchase all camera equipment from a local store- they will deal with customer service for me and even give me a loaner while repairs are being done.

Today is Solid Rock Family Camp! I have exactly three hours and forty-five minutes to finish preparing.

 Stay tuned for some fun times.

Public Opinion Poll

Warning: This post is about to written by a very disgruntled Canon custom. If you don't want to read about my horrible Canon Customer Service experience, skip this post. For those of you interested in reading, here's a cute picture of my daughter Jubilee, to help sweeten this post.

Kenji (2 months) Jubilee (6 years)

I will try to make this as concise and clear as possible, without boring you to death, but there are some facts you need to know before I begin my rant.

April 2008 I purchased a 50mm 1.4 lens.

October 20,  2008 the auto-focus quits functioning. I send it in to the Canon repair factory. The service is great. They email me when it arrives, when the repair was accepted, when it was repaired and when they shipped it back. I ask about why the auto focus quit working, they say they don't know, and assure me there is no visible damage. It arrives back in my home, fixed, one week later. I am one happy customer.

February 23,  2009 the auto-focus quits functioning. I send it in for repair, two weeks later I have it back.

March 15,  2009 the auto-focus quits functioning (notice, less than three weeks have passed).  Chuck talks to the people at Canon repair factory who assure him that if it comes back a third time they would go over it with a fine-toothed comb. If was was deemed unrepairable, they would send me a "refurbished" lens (let's not even talk about why I would want a "refurbished" one when the new one I bought doesn't function properly). This time we have no emails, no contact, until the lens arrives back.

May 12, 2009 auto-focus quits functioning during an infant baptism I am shooting. Back in for repair. Lens is gone for 3 weeks, with no communication unless I call Canon.  On the phone I am told the lens has "impact damage" and it has been noted from the beginning. I inform the person that I asked specifically about damage to the lens and they said there was none. When Chuck calls, the person he speaks to says "there is no damage noted".  As stated in my warranty and on every work order:

THIS WARRANTY IS TO BE FREE FROM DEFECTS IN WORKMANSHIP AND MATERIALS UNDER NORMAL USE FOR SIX MONTHS FROM SUCH A REPAIR. THIS REPAIR IS LIMITED TO REWORK (SAME FAILURE) ONLY, PROVIDED THIS EQUIPMENT AND THIS FORM ARE RETURNED TO CANON U.S.A, INC., SHIPPING COSTS PREPAID, WITH A DETAILED DESCRIPTION OF THE FAILURE.

This time the work order comes back with this written on the bottom:

THE PROBLEM NECESSITATING THE REPAIR IS NOT COVERED BY THE LIMITED WARRANTY FOR YOUR PRODUCT. ACCORDINGLY, THIS REPAIR IS BEING PROVIDED TO YOU AS A COURTESY ONLY, "AS IS" AND WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED...

Could someone please explain this to me, since none of the repairs lasted through the repair warranty?! 

Chuck then began a dialogue with Canon Customer Service and informed them I would only be happy with a new lens and a new warranty. Clearly, my lens is a lemon.

June 12, 2009 auto-focus quits working. Chuck calls Canon, explains the situation and asks that the lens not be sent back.

 We have both spent hours on the phone with Canon. I have been keeping my mouth shut,  trusting Canon 

to come through for me. Last week the woman I spoke to said "If all it's going to take to make you happy

is a new lens, I'll see what I can do. I've already checked on availability for this lens, and there is none". Huh?!  I asked how long this would take resolve, she said give her a week.

Meanwhile, the lens came back and Chuck refused to accept it, sending it back to Canon.

Yesterday one week had passed, so I called the woman at Canon again. She informed me she was still waiting for information and couldn't do anything for me. I told her I needed to know if they were going to send me a new lens or not, because otherwise I was going to sell all of my Canon equipment and buy a Nikon. She said it was too bad I was pressuring her, because that meant she couldn't take the time to review the case properly and just had to say no. Despite the fact that no repair has lasted through the warranty, they are acting like they did me a huge favor repairing this last time and a have made it clear they will not repair it again. 

So here's my dilemma, and I really want some opinions here. I don't think Nikon is a better product than Canon. The problem I have with Canon is their inability to admit my lens is faulty and give me  new one. Our service has gotten worse and worse as this situation has progressed. I can't for the life of me figure out why they didn't deem the lens unrepairable months ago...like they told Chuck they would.

Now, it makes no sense to me to buy another 50mm 1.4 lens, and "hope" it works. And "hope" I get better customer service. So I feel like I am being forced to make a switch to Nikon. The problem is, I have no extra money to spend on camera equipment. If I sell my used camera and Speedlite, I'd be lucky to have enough left over to buy a decent used Nikon...and I'd still be out a nice lens (which I need for portraits)  and a Speedlite.

Here are what I see as my options (and please leave a comment with your opinion):

1. Save up my money and buy a new Canon lens and hope it works.

2. Buy a cheaper Canon lens, and hope that works.

3. Sell all of my equipment, buy a used Nikon, and save up (again) for a Speedlite and lens.

4. Buy a cheaper Canon lens, start a "Buy Renee a New Camera Fund" and try to garner some paying customers to make enough money to then buy a Nikon. A one time only deal with a paid sitting fee and the images on a disk for a flat fee.

I feel like it would be completely foolish of me to stick with Canon. I live in fear of the time anything else goes out and I have to deal with "customer service" again. 

I am so open to any other comments or suggestions.

Only In Our House

I don't know what it is about our family. Or home. Or whatever. But somehow it seems, I find myself in these bizarre situations. Situations that would never fly on a sitcom because they're too far fetched.

Take yesterday morning for instance. I was in my room and Avi came in, closed the door and hopped on my exercise machine. Shortly thereafter I attempted to open my door and found it locked. When I tried to unlock it I found Avi had somehow jammed the button sideways and it would not open. No matter  what I tried. 

So I called for help. 

Enoch came running and I asked him to pick the lock for me (these are important skills...I hope you've 

taught all of your children to pick locks- you never know when you will be trapped in your bedroom with a

newly turned four year old).

He tried to  no avail. The jam that was preventing me from unlocking door, also prevented him. 

Meanwhile, as soon as Avi realized we were locked in the bedroom a look of utter terror came over her face and she began to scream. I've talked about Avi's scream, right? Now imagine being locked in a small 8X9 foot room with that scream. Ow. And not only did she begin to scream, but in utter panic she informed me: 

"I am going to jump out the window!" and began desperately trying to claw her way up the wall to the window. "I'm going to jump out! I'm going to jump out!"  This girl was experiencing sheer terror. Is it just me, or are there worse things in this world than being locked in a  room with me?

I had to physically grab her to prevent her from jumping (by the way, at no moment was her life in danger- she would have ended up on our deck).

I tried desperately to calm Avi, assuring her that we would both climb out the window if it became necessary. Then I asked Enoch for a screwdriver (which he slid under the door), and proceeded to remove the doorknob, so we could get out.

And out we came. Uninjured (except perhaps slightly damaged eardrums and some emotional  trauma).

Just another morning in our house.